#this was inspired by a Twitter thread of a guy who ordered crickets to his house without telling his wife

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

“T.K.: Hi baby I’m home!

Carlos: T.K. Ask me how my day was.

T.K.:….. How was your day?

Carlos: It wasn’t the best. Now ask me why.

T.K.: Can you skip to the part about what I did wrong? (Heard a chirping noise) What was that?

Carlos: That was my question. It’s a cricket, one of several that were in a box that was on our doorstep.

T.K: Oh the crickets came!

Carlos:……

T.K: Oh. The crickets came here.

Carlos: Two hundred and fifty of them, TK. Which brings us to- why did you have two hundred and fifty crickets delivered to our home?

T.K: Okay so you know how there was a call last week about the old guy and the Komodo dragon…

Carlos: Uh huh….

T.K.: And how the dragon needed a new home and the guy, he had someone to take it and just needed a place for Cosmo to stay in the meantime…

Carlos: Cosmo?

T.K: The dragon.

Carlos: Of course. Was the plan for Cosmo to stay with us?

TK: No, not at all! But since my dad had to go back to New York to testify in that case, Cosmo was going to stay with Mateo.

Carlos: Okay, I need to sit down before you tell me the rest of this.

Carlos: So wait, why were the crickets delivered here?

TK: I have no idea! I ordered them for Mateo but they were supposed to be delivered to the firehouse. Here I can show you- see?

Carlos: (looks at his phone) TK…. You entered the firehouse as the billing address and our home as the shipping address.

TK:….. I did?

Carlos:……

TK: Oh baby I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your day off.

Carlos: I know that. And I didn’t mean ruin your night…. Or possibly your day off tomorrow.

TK:….. We’re not going to get to the thing at the Ryder’s tonight, are we?”

Carlos: Nope. Not unless you want to explain to your dad why a hungry dragon ate Mateo and Buttercup when he gets back.

TK: Come on, Cosmo wouldn’t do that.

Carlos: Remind me why fire and medical were dispatched to Cosmo’s house in the first place?

T.K:….. He got out of his yard and the neighbor thought he would eat her rabbits. Which he didn’t, by the way!

Carlos: TK….

TK: So, crickets?

Carlos: Yep.

TK: Copy that.

TK: Hey, this should be kind of fun. Like a big game of Pokémon- gotta catch ‘em all, right?

Carlos: …. TK-

TK: Right. Crickets now. Jokes later.

Carlos: Or never, possibly”.